All in all I like the track! Especially the second version, much better drums in there. But the idea is great!
The simple melody line is perfect and I like it has also some development.
To me, the piano at the beginning feels too much emotionless, too flat, maybe try to find a different library that would bring the magical sound of piano into the beggining? The beginings matters! I know I am maybe too much demanding as a pianist
Another thing, after that pause, from 1:43, I am missing a liiiiittle bit more power? It feels the same as before that break. I think I would add some low brass melody that comes up, just to make stronger wall. At 1:56 when the louder string comes in, it feels good tho!
Oh, and I really love the choirs, I envy you all who can do vocals like this
I heard the newest edited version just now, and wow! Much much better feels. The piano still tho ;D