hey great track, here is my little feedback
but the first thing i can say after some listening is that there is a little problem about the balance and everything sound stereo you could use automation on the PAN L/R to create some movement of the sound, another point at 0’21 the transition could be softer when the ostinato or little arpeggio comes in, at 1’01 when the rythme comes in, here you can if it is possible change the PAN on the breath sound, on the left,the on the right , the right to left etc… i think it will bring something interresting in the rythme, you can also add some variation on the rythme at 1’22 just before the lead comes in add a break and repreat the rythme of the begining with some variation on the snare by example instead of having just 4 bar, here check the balance the bass is a little too loud, and also the pad at 1’32, same thoing at 2’51 when the pad comes in again, it covers the lead, at 3’16 the rythme disapear suddenly, you can change that by make a rythme with just the bass drum and the hithat going in decrescendo to 3’18, at 3’22 it is a good idea to repeat the same motiv of the begining but i think you can add something to make the transition better. i hope that can help or can give you some idea.
i am not a pro you know, i am just passionnate in music and synth.
what DAW do you use ? what synth or vst you have used for this track ? is it samples ? kontakt instrument ?
well done for your track and good job